It’s been 8 months since Tina has been back to her family home, as work and life keep her busy during the year. This holiday season, she is finally able to visit with family and friends in her hometown. She is staying with her aging parents and knew her dad was dealing with some health concerns and seeing multiple different doctors. Her dad seemed forgetful at times on their Sunday video calls, but she thought it was just part of getting older. During this visit, Tina noticed her dad was losing thoughts during dinner conversations, arguing more with her mom over things he didn’t remember doing and even getting lost while driving home from his sister’s Christmas dinner. Tina realized she did not know her dad’s whole health picture from just their weekly phone calls.
The holiday season is a special time of year where gatherings filled with food, laughter and cheer allow us to reconnect with family friends and loved ones we don’t get to see every day. But like Tina, the holiday may be an eye opening time for us to acknowledge and recognize loved ones dealing with dementia.

The Subtle Signs:

Sometimes it may not be as obvious as Tina’s dad’s situation, but there can be subtle signs like forgetfulness, confusion and repetitive behaviors. Pay close attention to changes you see in your loved ones’ behavior and start an open conversation with them or the family and friends that interact with them on a more regular basis.

Behavioral Changes:

I know I’ve caught myself thinking, “Dad’s just becoming a grumpy old man”, but in hindsight I should have explored how my dad’s behavioral changes were appearing in different situations and how this was different from the person I once knew. Changes like increased agitation, seeming withdrawn or having difficulty following conversations can be potential indicators of dementia.

Communication Challenges:

One common challenge those suffering with dementia express, is struggling with language and conversations. Having trouble finding the right words, repeating questions or having difficulty following conversations, are examples of how dementia can impact communication. It’s important not to argue, tell them they are wrong, or yell. Be patient and support them as your loved ones express themselves in the best way they can.

Inclusive Celebrations and Coping Strategies:

With dementia, maintaining routines are essential to keeping balance. The holiday season can be far from routine with special activities and gatherings that may be too stimulating and ultimately overwhelming for our loved ones. Pay attention to your loved ones manners and behaviors during these special times. Consider ways to be mindful of the sensory stimuli by having shorter gatherings, or simplifying decorations. Creating a calm and familiar environment can decrease the stress in your loved one and allow everyone to enjoy their time together.

Navigating Dementia:

If you find yourself in a situation this holiday season like Tina, don’t brush off your concerns. Start with simple and honest conversations with your loved one and family. It’s important to seek professional help and to feel heard by your healthcare professionals. It can be overwhelming for your loved one and you as a caregiver when first recognizing cognitive impairment and dementia.

Managing dementia takes a village of support and you don’t have to be alone.
Dr Mary Lomberk, Dr Rachel Comer